we say things and sometimes we mean them and sometimes we don’t.
sometimes we say things in the heat of the moment or in the sloppiness of a buzz or just because they sound right at the time they escape from our mind past our lips.
when we write things out we have the ability to edit and erase or reword.
the other day i had a slap in my face about how powerful my words can be, about how they mean more than we think. how something so flippantly flung out into the universe could indeed be heard and action be shown. this instance was not in a positive way and yes, there were variables that take the blame from my statement.
‘that man is so stupid that i wouldn’t mind seeing him die’…or something like that and instantly on my own i felt regret and it was solidified by my husbands harsh look and claim that i was not nice by saying such a thing
there is the fact that a Nor’easter was raging and that the Atlantic ocean was in a rage as it does from these conditions.
there was the fact that the man that i nearly killed with my words was stripped down to his trunks and splashing around in the shorebreak like he was on spring break or maybe he was boozed up and challenging mother ocean to bring it on or who knows maybe he just heard that he is dying of cancer WHO KNOWS why this man felt it necessary to go ocean taunting
he thankfully was seen on the beach with the feet covering of wash and i felt better…ok, his rant is done…but OH NO, there he is wandering south…right to the mouth of a rip current, but he is out and maybe he is done. my point of being there is to make sure my dogs are happy and run appropriate so when i turned back to see if the man was out still…he wasn’t
my husband has eyes like a hawk and the training courtesy of the USMC so after telling him where I’d seen him last he was able to spot him unfortunately bobbing and flailing about in the ocean caught in the rip
our words. carry
my husband says time slowed down for him as he watched the man go beneath each giant wave and reemerge, he called 911, we could hear him screaming for help as he drifted in the currents and he was able to keep track of our loose dogs wrangling them up as I went into my experience of it all
i felt responsibility. my words. sometimes i say things so raw and without thought…sometimes these things happen, come to fruition and this was one time i wouldn’t be able to live with myself if it did end the way i predicted
i began to run toward the nearest house where there were people on the deck to let them know we had called,…your loved one will be safe! when i finally got within ear shot to them they did not know the man, nor did the next people at the adjacent house.
because of the nor’easter the beach was scarce so i was running in and out of shore wash and my footing was lost in the failing sand and i felt as though it were keeping me from getting to the man or to who ever was to save him. an officer showed up and i let him know through sobs what i knew, he thought i knew him because of how upset i was
i heard sirens so i ran to the road and started waving the stick i’d been playing with my dogs with in the air and the lifeguard pulled off the road two houses ahead of where i was and i kept running and found his path…he was ready. if i could channel his intensity…and he sprang into action. in the time i spent running up the road another life guard had arrived by atv and was already in the water bringing in the man…and the lifeguard i shadowed ran in and brought this limp lump of a human out of the ocean.
my hubs was where i had left him talking with a local woman who said she heard him calling for help blocks away…the wind carried his distress i cried and sobbed and tried to catch my breath. i found his shoes, shirt and hat and brought them to his friends. i was in shock. i told the story to friends like it was nothing…like i was talking about an average day.
i called the hotel where he was staying, across from mother ocean to find out his status…still in the hospital, but ok
the next morning i called again. ok, but wiser said the hotel clerk who i’d spoken with last night
i’ve been the person staring the beast in the face saying come on and take me, if this is what you want i’m right here.
i escaped. i did not have the help of a lifeguard, i did not yell for help. i almost died…but my will to live has kept me safe
this was a sobering experience for both myself and JD…you do not know and it takes life to tell you something about it